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6:32 a.m. - Alarm goes off. Snooze button.

6:41 a.m. - Alarm goes off. Snooze button.

6:52 a.m. - Alarm goes off. Rolls out of bed, trips over various piles of Cosmopolitan magazine scattered on floor on way to bathroom.

6:53 a.m. - Takes tremendous dump.

6:57 a.m. - Gets in bathtub. (LexArkana only takes baths).

7:36 a.m. - Gets out of bathtub, begins air dry.

7:40 a.m. - Puts on T-shirt and pants over granny panties and knee-high socks.

7:43 a.m. - Begins combing his Halle Berry style hair.

7:44 a.m. - Finishes hair, brushes teeth.

7:46 a.m. - Sits down to breakfast of Corn Flakes and Orange Juice.

7:58 a.m. - Kisses both moms goodbye, heads out to garage.

8:00 a.m. - Pulls Mercedes
out of garage.

8:25 a.m. - Sings to Melissa Ethridge at the top of her lungs as she pulls in to work.

8:29 a.m. - Strolls by receptionist, giving her a nasty look. Wonders why she won't return her calls any more.

8:31 a.m. - Sits down at desk, looking admirably at signed photo of Rosie O'Donnell, sighs, grabs the mouse sitting on the rainbow mousepad, and logs on to IS300.NET.

8:50 a.m. - After reading and replying to every topic on the first page, surfs to Yahoo Personals. No replies.

8:51 a.m. - Decides to remove picture from ad. Reads and responds to 15 other SWLF ads.

9:27 a.m. - Checks email again. Nothing.

9:30 a.m. - Goes to get coffee, noticing again how all conversations stop around coffee machine and everyone suddenly walks away. Crushes Styrofoam cup in rage.

9:37 a.m. - Surfs back to IS300.NET again, responds again to every thread on the first page, inserting a picture of a man in the Post Your Pic thread.

9:45 a.m. - Sends 3rd PM of the week to ltunedgirl, asking him why he didn't show for the support group meeting the night before.

10:00 a.m. - Scrolls the page after page of females on the Hot or Not website, giving ten to women with short hair and buck teeth (like herself).

10:55 a.m. - Falls asleep at desk.

10:59 a.m. - Wakes up as head hits monitor. Hears giggling from next cube.

11:00 a.m. - Gets in fight with male bodybuilder in next cube for laughing at her. Kicks his ass.

11:10 a.m. - Gets called in to boss' office, gets another reprimand (they're scared to fire her).

11:12 a.m. - After listening to boss rant, tells him to F himself, decides to go home.

11:39 a.m. - Gets home. Sobs uncontrollably in car.

11:45 a.m. - Composes herself, goes in to house, kicking cat on the way in.

11:52 a.m. - Takes nap.
 

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Who be Alt-Nick? That's some funny stuff! :D :lol:
 

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super bump...
 
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